What Happens When the Caregiver Needs some Self-Care?
Meet Leyda
Leyda is a woman who is juggling so many stressors in her life it's no wonder she found herself feeling overwhelmed. First, she had just gone through a divorce. Second, her father has stage 4 cancer. Third, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Fourth, her parents home is about to go into foreclosure. She was spending so much time and energy pouring care into her parents she had forgotten to pour any time or energy into caring for herself. She was worn out, exhausted, and emotionally spent and completely overwhelmed.
The Old Self-Care
Leyda was feeling like she needed a better way to process all of the things that life was throwing her way. She needed a way to gain insights into her feelings, and how to move forward after her divorce while still being a full-time caregiver for her two parents. She turned to the gym, and reading, and taking hikes on nearby trails for some self-care but found they weren't enough. She'd get home from the gym and all of life's struggles were still there waiting for her.
She struggled with feelings of guilt for taking any time at all for herself when there was always so much to do. But she found that giving her physical self the care it needed made her more aware of how much the emotional side of herself needed care too. She needed support to help her manage anxiety and stress that she wasn't finding at the spa or at the gym.
The New Self-Care
It's not terribly surprising that Leyda can't remember what the first thing is that she listened to in Sanity & Self. After all, she's listened to almost 500 audio sessions so far. What she does remember is that listening to Airial Clark tell her it was okay to be selective about what she poured her energy into in Give Less F#cks, was a revelation to her. She realized in listening to Airial talk that she could be more selective about what things she said yes to, and what responsibilities she took on. Her plate is already very full and it's okay to tell others she can't do something for them, or that some things around the house might not get done right away. She could care a little bit less about the little things that tend to stress us all out, and focus on what really matters to her. Healing from her divorce, and taking care of her parents. She realized in that simple audio session that she had been so busy being a caretaker for others, she'd stopped being a caretaker of herself.
After listening to a few audio series she felt refocused. She was able to let go of all the guilt she felt about saying no to things or people that she could no longer accommodate. She felt encouraged to feel GOOD about prioritizing herself because she realized if she didn't take care of herself she would end up unable to take care of those she loves when they really need her.
Thank you Sanity & Self for being there for so many of us juggling so much and thinking we don’t have time for ourselves. You have been a safety net or trampoline of sorts that help women like me bounce back to prioritize ourselves so we can be well and be able to help others from a stronger self.
Now she sets aside 1-2 hours each day to focus on herself, guilt-free! She no longer just sits in the emotional pain of seeing her parents deteriorate. Now she knows when she's feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed she takes a deep breath and reminds herself she's doing all that she can do. She's taken up the practice of both meditation and yoga and she regularly takes classes outside the house in the evenings to give herself time and space to reset and refocus.
She's also reached out to support groups in her area for divorce, Alzheimer's, and hospice care. She no longer feels like she needs to do it all, she realizes she can do more by doing less and asking for help and support when she needs it.
Looking Forward
Leyda is an inspiring woman and she's learned a lot from the hard things she's dealt with in recent years. She's focused and committed to helping her parents as much as she can in their later years, both physically and financially. She's equally committed to learning and putting into action how to continue being emotionally healthy and strong and feeling pride in her efforts, no matter what the results may be. She considers Sanity & Self her "safety net" or "trampoline" to help her bounce back, learn to prioritize herself and become a stronger more powerful version of herself.
Thank you Arial you are teaching so many of us to be strong and debunking beliefs that limit us.
Leyda Recommends
Leyda describes herself as a "huge fan" of Airial Clark and would love for every woman to listen to Airial's powerful, Give Less F#cks, Live More Life series. She also loved Airial's Lies We Tell Ourself series for diving deep into uncovering limiting beliefs we all have from social and cultural restraints. Realizing the things we tell ourselves we can't do is a powerful first step to doing what our heart is most passionate about.
